Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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