Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm really busy with my period
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