Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Randomize
