reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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