Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
