i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
