I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
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