In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
