last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
