just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
