Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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