remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
