Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
