My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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