oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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