oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My balls are so social today.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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