Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
