im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
