Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
