i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
