What a fucking waste of an outfit
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
