420 ftw
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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