He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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