This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
