You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize