I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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