my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
