bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
