we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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