Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
