Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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