Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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