If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
