Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize