yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
