Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
