I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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