i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Enjoy the penises
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
