The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
