i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
