when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
