If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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