I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
