Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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