areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
