Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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