weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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