Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
