Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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