I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
