I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
im holly from the hills drunk
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
