We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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