Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
