I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
bring money and cleavage
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
