Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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