WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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