I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize