This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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