This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize