It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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