oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
